2 Naomi-Paper 1 Draft 2 – Naomi (1)
During the Peer review process, I had a review Naomi Dawsons paper to help her improve the way it flowed and make sure that she supports the POV she had. In the introduction, I of her paper she made the point very clear of what she was going to talk about the one part I pointed out was the thesis need to be strengthened. So that the reader would understand the points she was proving. I wish though that I was a little bit more specific with how I stated the comment, I should have given some examples of how to make it better. I noticed throughout her essay that some of her quotes were just dropped into the paper, so the flow was thrown off because of it which made it harder for the reader to understand the point of the quote. After the last peer review looking back on some of the first peer reviews made me realize that I was too general with the statements I made. I learned that I need to give more support behind what I stated so that the writer could emphasize or expand what they had to meet the needs of the requirements of the paper. What I mean by expanding is instead of just general ideas like “ is this your thesis because if so it needs to be stronger” trying something like this “ is this your thesis if so strengthen it by saying this or bringing this into to make the points clear and noticeable to the reader. What I have taken away from this class is that without explanation no one knows what you’re talking about, be more direct and clear with what you’re saying so no one is left questioning what’s happened.
